Today was a day of relaxation before I sit down and get started on school work. Been watching some old episodes of Robotech on hulu. Still a classic.

Doing laundry today as well. The apartment was getting a little out of hand so I picked up all the clothes and am doing two loads. It’s nice to see the floor again.

Been tinkering around with the blog too. Added some new plugins for widgets and have a really cool login screen as well. Seems like this thing is finally starting to get some personality.

I guess I mentioned tonight to my gaming group that I was going to be moving back to the mainland in June.  Kinda weird as it hit me how much of a nomad I am never staying in one place too long.

It kind of makes me wonder (worry?) how it will be when I finally put down roots and stay in one place.

I’m moving on in a number of matters at the moment.  I don’t mean that I have leaving what has happened behind but rather that I see that I am stuck.  I realized that I was stuck in the current situation not 2 hours ago, in fact this might be a instant revelation.  But that would be a lie I guess.  I actually feel like I’m starting to take steps backward.

This isn’t a bad thing though.  I think I’m moving back towards the more confident attitude that I held in the past.  In the past…oh..8 or 9 years I think I’ve encountered stages where I enact a great shift in myself from a “nervous follower” to a “confident leader.”  This has been the case before and I think its when I become comfortable with both myself and my surroundings.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we?  I think the first point in which I made a change was when I was a leader back in EYG workcamp.  I actually took on a role and was recognized by both my peers and councelors as someone who could take control.  I remember being told “I was surprised with the Don I saw this past week.  You took control with projects, completed them all while looking out for your teammates.  You really impressed me.”  This made me realize that I finally came into myself for the first time.

The next two times occured while at OU.  First was at the end of my first year and begining of my second with the recreation of the anime club.  I was almost followling along through most of it putting in my ideas of what would be good, but never taking a true leading position (even though I was going to be VP).  It was the following year in which I took control at the beginning and started the path that JCON has take.  I am not saying that I am the cause for JCON today. BUT! All you fuckers who which to say different, I was the reason that the club became registered and had to deal with losing a President (while I was to be VP thereby becoming Pres.) and a Tresurer all in the same year.  I don’t hold ill will towards either of those guys, honestly.  I consider both my friends.  but man that was a pain in the ass to deal with but I succeeded.  The second occurence in college would probably be my last year after returning from Chubu.  I was different and I think it was seen in those around me.  I joined OUGA and became the treasurer and became sociable in numerous groups.

The stage before this would have to be my 2nd year in Iwate.  Jason and I seriously became a major focal point for activities there.  There wasn’t a good party out there that we weren’t either part of or had organized. haha.  I may be exaggerating a bit for my own ego but it still was a success.

I think I’ve started to find my place now.  I feel like I’m someone who has valid point to say and is a colleague to those around me.

I think what triggered this was actually purchasing some hair product from the store this evening.  It’s the same stuff I used in Japan and I think that’s why it has affected me.  It almost feels like a complete circle in how I’m returning to familiar things (product, games, otaku) but making it so much more than a weird part of me and into a successful presentation.

I think I have my position fairly clear to me now and I just have to fill in the details in between the goals.

hmmm.  Lets start that then, here and now.

1. Return to Japan summer 2009 for fieldwork.

• Received $2000 Graduate Fellowship
• Contacting housing service in Japan for a room for July and August
• swindle money from parents
• Apply for more funding

And now I sleep.

Man I’m freaking tired and the day’s not over yet!!.  I still have to finish up some more packing and then cleaning tonight.  I moved all the big stuff (i thought kinda missed a few) yesterday when I borrowed the storage place’s van.  Today I came home after I busy as hell day at the office (by myself most of the time to helping with issues that erupted one after another.

I biked a huge amount of stuff over to the storage unit today (and some to goodwill).  I had a makeshift pannier out of a backpack (may just put it in the rack next time), tossed one messenger back in the rack, messenger back on my side, chrome back on my back, small suitcase (yes I said suitcase) on the back of the bike and then the comforter on top of that.  I swear I wasn’t sure if I could make it. I did though was more worried about making it there in time to put the crap away than the weight.

Almost all my junk is there now.  I’m going to get up early (like 6:30, yea I know crazy) and make another trip there before work and then take some of my stuff too work, like my research stuff.  Then I finish work at 2:30 and come back to the apt and then I check out at 3.  I gotta make sure pretty much everything is out and just toss a few things in back for my bike and then head to the new apt.  Oh yea I also have to go to the mall to turn in my Road Runner modem to cancel the service.

I need to get some lotion or something my fingers are killing me.  I’m not sure why.  I also need to go to the chiropractor to realign my back and fix my hands.

Ok I have to get back to cleaning.

This bike is dying,  the Mongoose that has served me since arriving in Hawaii is nearing its end.  The back tire is just giving out.  I gotta get a new one, there’s no argument in that.  I’m looking into what options are out there.  The guy at the bike shop suggested I look into getting a road bike and then trade out the handlebars for mountain bike bars.

I’m lookin into this a lot though because it’s important that I need the bike for transportation.

I have to say for anyone who writes or thinks they need help with their writing I have to say check out StyleWriter.  I downloaded the trial version and though it was a struggle to get it installed (I’ve heard that theyll make a Win32 ver. soon) but besides that. I just used it to go over my paper and I changed little things and it looks great.  I still have a ways to go as I need more theory but I need to get more theory but the books I’m gonna get it from haven’t arrived yet but still.  It helped make my writing much clearer.  It actually marks sentences and says “This looks weird, xxxx is wrong with it” and it’s usually right.  It doest he job of an editor, it picks up whats strange and then once I can see whats wrong I can fix it!!!

Thank you technology,  I’m gonna buy the program when the trials over which is gonna be a bit pricey as its $160, but its still worth it to make my writing better.

Yea, I dont mean I have a new one somewhere else but rather I remembered that I do have this one and I haven’t updated it recently.  I’m currently working on my research proposal paper so I’ll prolly be MIA until mid may.

Life is very stimulating at the moment!  Want to know why??  I’m on stimulants.  The black market here is very good.  Couldn’t ask for a better set of drug dealers.

By black market I mean pharmacist and by dealer I mean psychiatrist.  But it’s funny all the same.

I’m takin stimuli because I’ve been diagnosed w/ ADHD.  It’s ok though cause the drugs suprisingly help.  I went into the counceling center today to check something appointment wise and even the secretary said that I smiled more and looked happier than when she saw me earlier this week.  If it works then I can’t complain and it certainly has made work and school much better.  No complaints here.  I’m not taking that much only about 10mg twice a day to see how it will affect me. I wonder if I get up to 20mg I’ll become a freakin genius. haha

If you wonder  “How did I get this far in life and school w/ this and not know it?” I have a simple answer for you.  I’m freaking smart and I could get through on my knowledge no problem until now.  Now no more questions.

Bottom’s up *takes pill*

First off I wish to say thanks to my friend Dan who was kind enough to order me a copy of Snow Crash.  I can’t wait to read it but I feel my brain will break do to school before then.

I really am worried about being able to get my work done but I think I may have found a cause and will give me a good solution but I have to wait a bit to see.

I kinda spent a bit today half for necessities and half for kinda necessities.  I do have money though which is good.  I’m kinda worried about what I should do this summer.  Part of me says go to Ohio and then attend gaming conventions (though Ohio for 2 months is well… ouch),  another says to stay here in Hawaii although I don’t know whether or not I’ll have a job this summer (damn I need to finish the new website for SAC), and the third option is call up my boy Kazu over in Japan and see if he can snag me a temp job that wont care about my visa status and work in Tokyo for 2 months and then get some research pre-stuff done (this seems VERY promising if I could pull it off).

I made some kick ass cookies lately. they have those small bites cookie dough at the store and it works great in my toaster oven.   mm mmm good.

I felt like crap most of the day.  I’m sick   but I’m feeling better now.  Riding my bike around and the sinus drainer kicked ass though.  I had lots of snot come out.  It was cool.  Though one drainage coming out the other nostril and the other one out the mouth it was kinda uncomfortable.

I want the age of cyberpunk to reemerge.  The whole technology aspect is really cool.

Ummm ok yea,  last post was made half asleep and minutes before I fell asleep.  I do feel I need to adventure more.  Stop staying in my apartment so much and get out and find a way out there to live cause if I only stay in this path and don’t look elsewhere I’m going to get old fast. Yea I know I’m only 25 but still when you aren’t paying attention it can go by really fast and then you’ll realize that the responsibilities you have make it impossible to do anything other than the worn path you’ve chosen.  I’m choosing now to make some changes so that I enjoy my time here to an amount that I don’t regret having “wasted time.”

I’m starting to fix my diet a bit.  I’m snacking less, although hat might just be because of the lack of snack food in my apt  I think I should keep this going on though even if I have snack foods.  I still need the snacks for my lunches.  I’ve started doin situps before bed so thats a good start.

I’m tempted on getting some camping gear and ride out on the weekends and camp somewhere and relax at the beach a bit.  I just want to get out and explore and adventure a bit.  I’m almost tempted to go and  fly out to Japan and then ride around the country.  I need to figure out what I have and what I need first in order to feel ready about stuff.

I just want to adventure and get into better shape. I wanna lose my gut.